Saved By An Angel
by Fire-Burning-Ice
Summary: When Carlisle is out hunting he hears screams coming from deep in the forest, and being the compassionate vampire he is, he decides to investigate. Little does he know that he will save someone's life and his will change forever.
1. Preface

Preface

I was frozen to the spot and could only stare as the giant beast moved slowly towards me. Despite the beast's size it made barely any noise as it's huge paws padded against the forset floor. I tried to breathe but the air seemed to get stuck in my throat.  
I couldn't even scream as the beast let a growl escape from it's jaw. There was no point in trying to run, the beast was obviously fast. There was nothing left to hope for. I let a tear run down my cheek. I did my best to think of the happiest memories I had, only there weren't any. I couldn't think of a single happy moment in my life. I must have been happy before IT happened. I tried not to remember IT. It wasn't the sort of thing that you would want to remember. I was brought back to the present when the beast let out a ferocious snarl. I whispered "Please, someone save me.." before the beast lunged for my neck. 


	2. Chapter 1 Saved

Chapter 1 - Saved

The beast lunged for my neck, I wanted to close my eyes but they were wide open with shock. I screamed as loud as I could.  
But it was no use. The beast fell on me and I felt my bones snap. It was agony. I tried to protect my face with my hands but it didn't help in the slightest. There was nothing I could do except cry. There was a horrible pounding in my head, which I tried to ignore as I struggled to crawl away, but the beast wouldn't let me escape. I gave up and just lay there while the beast clawed at me, each swip brought another round of pain. Unconciousness was coming and I hoped that it would get here quickly. The pain was excrutiating. My head was throbbing, not to mention my arms, legs, shoulders, ribs.... There were black shadows forming around my eyes, preventing me from seeing anything. The shadows brought halucinations with them. I could swear that the beast was being shoved out of the way and that there were no new pains. My whole body still ached though and I wanted nothing more than to sleep. I closed my eyes and tried to let unconciuosness find me. While I waited I saw an angel standing where the beast had being a moment ago. The angel picked me up with cold arms carrying me away. Before I let my mind fall into darkness I heard a male voice softer than velvet whisper in my ear and the words gave me a tiny bit of hope. "My name Is Carlisle, and I'm taking you somewhere safe". 


	3. Chapter 2 Where Am I?

_**Not to sure about this chapter, but I couldn't think of anything else.**_  
_**I hope You like it! **_

Chapter 2 - Where am I?

When I woke up I could tell that I'd being out of it for a long time. My whole body ached, my throat burned and my eyes didn't want to open. I moaned and rolled over. It hurt a lot. I lay still for a while. It was nice just to lay still. After what seemed like a long time I sighed and wrenched my eyes open. I had to blink a few times before I could see, and even when I could see I carried on blinking. I didn't recognise anything. I let my tired eyes gaze around the room. It was pretty basic. Wooden floor, plain walls,  
a desk, a chair, a closet, a bedside table, a bookcase and of course, a bed. Basic, but still pretty. The bed was very comfy. The sheets felt like silk. There was a huge window which was covered by curtains, but I could see the sun shimmering around the edges, revealing that it was daytime. It then occured to me that I had no idea where I was. This upset me, but I still felt sort of safe, like the house was indestuctable. Maybe it was. I wondered who lived here. I didn't exactly want to shout if the owner was only going to come to hurt me. Then I remembered that I was already hurt and how I got my injuries. I remembered the horrible beast, the excrutiating pain, the angel carlisile who saved me... Oh! If Carlisle saved me then he must have brought me here. How was I going to get his attention? I couldn't exactly shout 'Hey Carlisle, can you come and tell me where the hell I am?'. I couldn't think of anything that I could shout.  
So I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs, Until I heard footsteps rushing up stairs and then in the hallway. I stopped screaming when he entered the room. The angel Carlsile. I just stared at him. He had beautiful blond hair, and his face was perfect. Not a single flaw. His eyes were a strange amber colour, but they were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. They looked panicked and scared for a moment, But once he saw that I was OK, he relaxed.

"Is everything OK?" he asked me. I just nodded. "Can I get you anything?"  
"Could I have some water please?" He nodded and left the room. Before a minute had passed, he was back with a jug of water,  
some ice, a glass and a straw. He poured me some water and ice into the glass. I went to reach for it but a pain shot through my arm, causing me to scream. Carlisle looked panicked again, he put the glass down on the bedside table  
"Are you alright?" He asked me. I ignored his question and instead I examined myslef.  
"Why am I like this?" I asked in horror. My arm right arm was in a cast, my left was plastered in bandages amd plasters. My head was a little tender. I lifted the duvet up so I could see my legs. They were even worse. I couldn't even see my legs, just bandages. My left foot was in a kind of brace. My stomach felt sore too. I lifted my shirt delicately with my left hand to see the damage. My stomach was covered with horrible cuts that looked like giant claw marks. My ribs were aching too.  
I couldn't see my face but it felt like there were cuts there as well. It would take me weeks to get better.  
"When you got attacked, you unfortunately got a few injuries. You have a broken foot, a broken arm, a few stitches on your head, two missing teeth, some broken ribs and you're almost comletely covered in cuts and bruises." I couldn't speak for a while.  
Carlisle was the one who broke the silence.  
"Um, do you still want some water?" I nodded. He held the glass for me and put the straw to my lips. The cold water soothed my burning throat. I quickly finished the glass.  
"Thank you" I said while Carlisle gathered the glass and jug.I said it with true appreciation. I felt a lot better.  
"You're welcome. Do you need anything else?" Truthfully, I just wanted some answers. But I didn't want to be rude.  
"Could I try and walk?" Carlisle thought about it carefully for a minute.  
"I guess you could try, but I'll have to help you, If you don't mind." I was desperate to see the house.  
"I don't mind. I'd love to stretch a little." Abandoning the jug and glass, Carlisle came over to me and helped me stand up.

I had to use him for support but I was able to arkwardly hop. He helped me get down the stairs, which was very difficult, and led me into the living room. It was magnificent. The walls had dark wooden panels with a variety of paintings, the floor was wooden as well but it was a slightly lighter shade, the sofas were huge and they looked comfier than the bed upsatirs, there were about five bookcases filled with tons of books.  
"Wow" I breathed. Gazing around in wonder. Carlisle just nodded. He then led me into the kitchen. It was just like any other kitchen, only completely spotless and more expensive. I sat down on a nearby chair.  
"Would you like something to eat?" Carlisle asked me. I shook my head. I wasn't hungry.  
"Could I have some tea please?" I hoped I wasn't being rude.  
"Of course." Nothing seemed to make him angry or fed up. I watched him as he boiled the water and got me a cup. His movements were so gracefull. He never tripped, stumbled or hesitated. He sat down opposite me. The silence was getting on my nerves. I had to say something. I cleared my throat to get his attention.  
"Um, I have a few questions." I tols him. He nodded.  
"Naturally, what do you want to know?" He looked at the seemed a little scared.  
"Well, where am I?" I waited patiently for his answer. "You're safe." I suppose that was all I was going to get.  
"How long have I being here?"  
"About four days"  
"How did you find me?"  
"I was hiking and I heard your screams, I've had to fight that kind of beast before so I knew what I was doing."  
"How long will I have to stay here?"  
"I'm not sure"  
"Do my parents know where I am?" Not that they'd care anyway.  
"No"  
"Why did you bring me here instead of phoning an ambulance?" He stayed silent.  
"Why can't I go home?" He was silent again. It was making me angry. "Where did you get all of the first aid stuff?" Again, nothing. I couldn't take it. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" I thundered. This made him look up .  
"Please calm down"  
"NO" I tried to stand up but then I remembered my leg and before I could do anything I wa falling. I screamed when I hit the floor and I started crying. Carlisle was right by my side trying to help me up but I pushed him away.  
"Are you ok?" He had the nerve to ask me if I was OK!  
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I screamed in between sobs. My body was shaking.I got up but I couldn't walk so I just ended up falling again. I hit my head this time and I could feel myself fainting again, But my body was still shaking. Before I fell into darkness again I heard Carlisle's soft voice.

"Shhh... It'll be OK. I'll make you better."

_**I know the ending is kind of similar to the last chapter but I couldn't think of a way to end the conversation.  
In the next chapter Carlisle tells the girl his secret. How will she react????**_


	4. Chapter 3 Secret Revealed

**_Hey Guys. Well here's the next chapter. Enjoy. Xx. _**

Chapter 3 - Secret revealed

This time ,when I woke up, I was in a lot more pain than last time. I could also tell that I wasn't in the bed. I opened my eyes and found that I was on the sofa, surrounded by pillows. It was just as comfortable as the bed. I looked around and found that I was in the living room. It was dark outside.

I lay still for a few moments until I heard someone clear their throat. My head whipped round, and I saw Carlisle sitting in a chair by my side. He had his hands folded under his chin. I instantly regretted moving my head so quickly. I felt like my head had been trampled on. I remebered my behaviour earlier and felt ashamed.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked me with genuine concern. It only made me feel more guilty.  
"I've felt better" I mumbled. This was true. I was freezing, and I had a horrible headache.  
"Would you like anything?"  
"Could I please have something warm to drink?" He nodded and walked off to the kitchen to get my drink. While he was in the kitchen I thought about how I could apologize for my stupid behaviour. I didn't get as much time as I wanted though, because Carlisle was back much quicker than I thought was possible. He helped me into a sitting position and handed me the cup.  
"Thank you" I mumbled. He nodded and went back to his chair. He didn't take his eyes off me while I sipped my tea. The tea was wonderful, milky yet strong. Just the way I liked it. The tea filled me with warmth and seemed to soothe my headache.

When I was finished my tea, he took the cup and silently took it back to the kitchen. He was back within ten seconds. He didn't say anything, he just sat down in his chair and watched me with concerned eyes. The silence was driving me crazy.

"Um.. I'm sorry for my behaviour before."  
"It's Ok, it was quite reasonable.I should have told you the answers you wanted."  
"It doesn't matter. You saved my life and then I lost my temper. That's not fair."  
"Like I said, It was quite reasonable. Do you still want to know some answers?" Wait, was he offering to answer the questions? Was this some kind of joke?  
"I just want to know where I am and how you got me here" He took a deep, shaky breath and waited a few minutes before he spoke.

"It's not easy to explain. If I tell you, it must be kept a secret." I nodded to show that I understood. " At the moment you are in Chicago. I carried you here from Florida. I was able to treat your wounds because I have a wide range of medical knowledge. I work as a doctor."He paused. I nodded in encouragement "My full name is Carlisle Cullen and I'm a vampire." He said this as if he were admitting a criminal offence.

This didn't make him any less kind. He saved me. He didn't bite me. He was kindhearted and compassionate.  
"Yes. And? Shock crossed his face.  
"It doesn't bother you ?"  
"Why should it?"  
"Because i'm different. I'm not human."  
"But you're still kindhearted, you saved my life, you treated my wounds, you didn't bite me and you haven't hurt me. Why should the fact that you're a vampire change anything?"

He just sat there looking stunned, yet happy.  
"I've been a vampire for roughly two hundred years. In that time I've never told anyone my secret. And then to know that you truly don't mind, it;'s just such a relief"

We sat in silence for a while. I was happy with the silence for once. It was peaceful. I was quite happy to stay here all night. But my stomach had other ideas. It rumbled loudly.  
Carlisle grinned.  
"Would you like something to eat?"  
"Yes please. Would I be able to come to the kitchen with you again?" His face fell a little.  
"Um, when you fell, you broke another rib, and I don't think you'll be able to walk for a while. You hit your head as well so you may also have a concussion" Well that would explain the horrible headache which was returning rapidly.  
"Can't you carry me"  
"I could. Would you like me to carry you?"  
"Just to the kitchen please" As soon as I was in his arms I felt safe. His arms were cold, strong and they felt like marble.

He put me down on the kitchen chair. I watched him as he prepared my food. I noticed that I hadn't seen him eat or drink anything since I arrived.  
"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about vampires?  
"Not at all" He sounded like he meant it.  
"Can you eat food"  
"No"  
"Do you drink blood?"  
"Yes, animal blood."  
"Animal blood?"  
"Yes. I don't think that it's fair that innocent lives have to lost to sustain us"  
"Are you stronger than humans?"  
"Yes, a lot stronger"  
"Can you die?"  
"There are very few ways we can be killed. Would you like to eat it in here?" He had finished making a grilled cheese sandwich with extra tomatoes. Perfect.  
"In here please." He placed it in front of me. It smelled delicious. I quickly dug in. It _was_ delicious.  
"By the way, what's you're name? Well he had told me all of his secrets, so I could share mine too.  
"My name is Esme Platt.

He sat and watched me while I ate. When I was done he took the plate. I suddenly felt exhausted. I let out a huge yawn.  
"Would you like to sleep?"  
"Mmm.... Do you have anything for the pain?" I wasn't making much sense.  
"Of course. It will help you sleep as well. I''ll just go and get it." He left the room at a inhumane pace and was back before I could count to ten.  
"Is that a vampire thing? The speed?"  
"Yes. We can move exceptionally fast." He injected something in to my arm. It made my eyelids close and my body sag. Carlisle caught me before I fell off the chair.  
"Sweet dreams..." He whispered into my ear.

The next few weeks were eventful. Carlisle kept me in good health an soon enough I was able to walk around the house. I found A library which held some amazing books. The whole house was full of surprises. Carlisle took me on walks through the fields around the house. They were the sort of walks you couldn't get bored of. I was perfectly happy here, strangely, and I didn't think of home until Carlisle mentioned it.

He brought up the subject while I was eating breakfast one morning. I had been enjoying my omelet quietly, while Carlisle watched me as usual.

"Um, Esme, I've been thinking. I know how much you like it here but you're family must be worried about you." I looked up from my omelet. The last thing I wanted to do was go home.

"I don't want to go home. I like it here. And my parents don't care."

"What makes you say that?"

This was a very personal secret. Well maybe it was time to talk about it.

"My parents want me to marry a man called Charles."

"What's so bad about that?"

"I can't stand him. The way he looks at me is horrible. Like he wants to see me in pain"

"Why don't you tell your parents how you feel?"

"They don't care. I don't get an opinion. All they care about is reputation" I looked at the floor in depression. Carlisle leaned across the table to put a finger on my chin and tilt my head up.

"You are beautiful, You will be a wonderful wife. And Charles will be a very lucky man" I tried to look away. I could feel tears in my eyes. No one ever said anything like that to me. I wasn't used to being told my good qualities.

"Thank you. I never get told nice things." He pulled me into a tight hug. Despite the fact that his arms were ice cold, I felt warm and secure in his arms.

"I'm taking you home later" he murmured. I stiffened.  
"Please don't!" He held me away from him and stared at my expression.  
"Your parents need you, you're their daughter. You can't be a part of my world. It's not right"  
"NO!!" I screamed. I struggled as his arms pinned mine to my sides. He lifted me up and carried me up the stairs. I knew what was coming. In the past few weeks whenever I got stressed out, because I was worried about my injuries or cried because of the reality of it all, he took me to the room where I had first woken up and gave me a sedative.

I kicked, screamed and sobbed as he held me down and injected the sedative into my arm. I felt the drugs take affect immediately. My limbs went numb, and my eyes were closing. I found his eyes and stared in to them while I could. The looked pained, tortured and torn. It was obvious he didn't want to do this. The tears in my eyes leaked over the edge just before they closed.

When Carlisle spoke, his voice was broken, rough and pained. He only said two words.  
"I'm Sorry"

And with that I drifted into a dreamless sleep.....


	5. Chapter 4 Back Home

**Here's the next chapter. Hope it was worth the wait. xD. **

Chapter 4 - Back Home

I woke up feeling dizzy, and I was cold. I could still feel all of my injuries covered in bandages. I opened my eyes expecting to see Carlisle again, but he was nowhere. My stomach gave a sickening jolt as I realized I was in the woods near my home. I was lying on the ground, my clothes were torn and I was covered in mud and leaves. It was raining. How did I get here? The last thing I could remember was Carlisle's pained voice saying he was sorry... now I understood. He was the one who did this to me. He left me alone, covered in mud in the freezing cold. Did he plan this from the beginning? Did he just pretend to care for me, so he could make me feel pain?

Or did he say sorry because he was planning on bringing me home? I didn't know what to think. Either way, my angel Carlisle had brought me home, and I would never forgive him.

I tried to sit up but I couldn't find the strength. I just lay there, waiting for fate to find me.

After what seemed like hours I heard people calling my name in the distance. I recognized the voices, they belonged to my parents. They must be looking for me. It shocked me a little when I realized that I had actually missed them and I desperately wanted to hug them and apologize for disappearing for so long.

"Esme....." Oh no. I knew that voice. Charles. He was looking for me too. I would rather stay here than go home with Charles.

There was a secret that I couldn't tell Carlisle. Charles was bullying me into the marriage. When he had proposed to me I had originally said 'no', but because we were alone he had punched me and kicked me until I was forced to say 'yes'.  
He still abused me when we were alone. He tells me it's to try and knock some sense into me, and when we get married it will get so much worse.

I was so caught up in my memories that I didn't notice Charles emerge from some nearby trees. When he saw me he didn't look concerned or relieved like a fiancée should, instead he looked tired, bored and extremely angry. When he saw that my eyes were open he glared at me. I tried to look away, but he didn't let me. He walked up to me and slapped my face. I screamed.  
He grabbed my face and forced me to sit up and look him in the face.

"How dare you? You ran off for six weeks, we had no idea where you were, you turn up here covered in mud looking for sympathy. And then you have the nerve to complain when I give you what you deserve!" He spat in my face and shoved my back onto the ground. I had to fight the tears that were filling my eyes, if he saw them he would start kicking me.

"I FOUND HER!" Charles bellowed in the direction he came. I could hear footsteps rushing to get to me.

Before they arrived, Charles bent down and whispered in my ear;  
"Not a word, or you'll be sorry!"

Before I could think of anything to say, my parents appeared from the direction Charles had come. Their faces lit up when they saw me.  
"Esme!" they screamed. They rushed to my side and hugged me.

I didn't say anything. I felt numb. I couldn't feel any emotion. I just wanted Carlisle. He would understand.  
My parents were asking me questions but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I tried to block everything out.

Even though I was relieved to see my parents, I still felt terrified about getting married. I'm only fifteen. I shouldn't be getting abused into a marriage that I don't want to be in. At least I can't get married until I'm sixteen, but that's only five months away. And then the real torture would start. I will have to live with Charles, cook for him, clean for him. It's bad enough that I have to see him everyday.

I was vaguely aware of a pair of arms lifting off the ground and carrying me through the woods. They were too warm and they didn't feel sturdy, I'd gotten to used to Carlisle's strong, cold arms. I also felt Charles holding my hand, pretending that he loved me.

Despite the fact that I had just woken up, i suddenly felt tired. I drifted to sleep in the arms that carried me. I was expecting the person that was carrying me to say 'sweet dreams' like Carlisle did, but of course this person wasn't my angel. I might never get to see him again...

I was crying when the darkness engulfed me.

* * *

I dreamed while I slept. I dreamed that I was with Carlisle, we were running through a field full of flowers, laughing. We were happy. But then Charles burst in and started to hit me, him and Carlisle started laughing at me and shouting insults. I cried in my dream. I woke up feeling scared, neglected and alone.

I was in a warm and comfy bed, it felt familiar. I opened my eyes quickly to find out where I was. I wasn't surprised to see that I was in my room. Of course my parents would want me to wake up here, alone. My body was clean so I could tell that a doctor had already examined me, it made me feel embarrassed. It felt weird to have a doctor that wasn't Carlisle.

It was daytime outside, the sun was shining in through my window. I wondered how long I'd being asleep.

I thought about what I was going to tell I pulled back my quilt, walked to my door and listened. I heard my parent's voices coming from our little kitchen.  
They were discussing mine and Charles' wedding. I didn't want to listen, so I decided to let them know that I was awake. I opened my door and walked down the stairs loudly.

They stopped talking as soon as I walked into the kitchen. I sat down opposite them.

"I'm sorry for disappearing for six weeks. You deserve an explanation"  
"Why don't you start from the day you went missing?" My father suggested. I nodded.

"I was going for a walk in the woods when I got lost. A bear found me and I was severely injured, but I managed to crawl away. I ended up finding a hut full of supplies. I stayed there while my wounds were healing. After a few weeks I tried to find my way home, but I got lost many times. When you found me I had being stuck there for two days. I got too cold to move."

I wasn't very good and lying but they seemed to believe it. I'm never going to tell them about Carlisle. He was my secret.

"Esme, thank you for telling us the truth. We were truly worried about you" My mother said.  
"I'm sorry. But how did you find me?" I asked them.  
"We received a phone call telling us that you had been spotted in the woods, so we got a search party ready" Carlisle. He called them. My head started to spin.

"Are you Okay Esme?" My father asked me looking concerned.  
"I'm feel a little dizzy. I think that I should go back to bed" I said, getting up from the table. I tried to make my footsteps sound heavy and tired as I went up the stairs.

When I got in my room I started crying. I needed Carlisle. I needed to know if he's sorry for bringing me home. I needed to ask him so many questions.

Why did he treat my so nicely if he was just going to bring me back? Did he mean everything that he said?

I lay on my bed crying. After a few hours I was starting to get really thirsty. Just before I was about to go and get a glass of water a thought came to me.

I was in love with Carlisle Cullen.

**Please let me know what you think by reviewing. xxx. **


	6. Chapter 5 Trying To Move On

Chapter 5 - Trying to move on

"Esme, did you hear me?" Mary asked me, snapping me out of my day dreaming.  
"H'uh?" I had no idea what she was talking about.  
"I said, why don't we go for a picnic by the lake later?" I sighed.  
"I don't feel like it" Mary put her hand on mine. She sighed too.  
"Esme, I know it's hard but you've got to forget about him"

It's being six months since I woke up in the woods, six months since Carlisle left me.

Everyday I put a fake smile on my face for my friends, my family and of course Charles. I'm sixteen now. My birthday was a month ago. My parents had insisted that I had a huge party, as it was the last special occasion I would spend with them whilst living under their roof.

I couldn't lie to Mary, so I had told her about Carlisle straight away, leaving out the fact that he was a vampire. She was sympathetic, but thought that I should forget him and move on.  
I'd told her all about Charles abusing me too. She was furious that he would do that to me, but she promised not to tell my parents.

Right now, I was at her house letting my cup of tea go cold. I wasn't in the mood for it. We were sitting at her table. She was trying to cheer me up, again. Her husband, Thomas, was at work with Charles. We always spent the day together when they were at work.

I sighed again, I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.  
"I know, but it's not the sort of thing that you can forget" Mary stood up and came to give me a hug.  
"You need to get your mind off it. Please come to the lake? It'll just be me and you. The boys can stay here and talk about work" She turned to look at me with her puppy eyes. I couldn't say 'no'.  
"Okay, I'll go home and change my dress and shoes. I'll be back in half an hour. Is that okay?"  
"Of course, I'll get the picnic basket ready" She was already looking through her cupboards for food.

I got up and let myself out. I walked home quickly.

* * *

As soon as I got in the door I ran up to my room. I always did this. I went to my desk and pulled something out of my drawer.

There was one secret that I didn't share with Mary. A few weeks ago, I had received a silver, heart shaped locket in the post. Inside was a small photo of the fields near Carlisle's home. A piece of paper had come with it and it still ached my heart to read the words that were written on it; _I'm sorry, please forgive me_

I sunk to the floor and let a few tears escape before spending time with Mary. I didn't like her to see me unhappy.

After a few minutes of crying, I got up and changed into a simple green dress with matching shoes. I looked presentable enough, I added the locket to complete it.

I went downstairs to look for my mother. I found her in the kitchen, baking a loaf of bread to go with our dinner.

"Um, mother?" She turned around and smiled at me.  
"Yes dear?"  
"I'm going for a picnic by the lake with Mary, I'll only be a couple of hours"  
"Okay sweetie, please be home for dinner though"  
"No problem, tell father and Charles where I am if they ask" I waved to her as I walked out the back door.

As I walked to Mary's, I thought about my mother baking.  
It added a crack to my broken heart to know that I would be doing that sort of thing for Charles soon.

The wedding was just two months away.

As soon as me and Charles get married we're going to move to a small house about forty miles away. I'm dreading it. I'd rather die. Everyone thinks that we will be happy, they're wrong.  
Charles will be happy, beating me, but for me it will be a living hell.

Why couldn't Carlisle come and save me? I would much rather marry him than Charles, I'm sure he would be a far more caring, loving husband.

The walk to Mary's didn't take long. I knocked on her door and let myself in.

"Mary?" I called.  
"I'll be down in a minute" I heard her voice from upstairs " Could please fetch the basket from the kitchen?"  
"Of course" I shouted back up to her.

I went to the kitchen to get the picnic basket from the table. I lifted the cloth from the top ans sniffed the food. It smelled wonderful.

I heard Mary coming down the stairs and quickly covered the food with the cloth.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Mary as I heard her come through the door.  
"Yes. Shall we head off?" I turned to go to the front door.  
"Let's go!"

As we walked to the lake, Mary and me spoke about the wedding. Instead of talking about the honeymoon, the house and our future like everyone else did, she talked about how beautiful I would look in my dress. We also planned what flowers I was going to have. She knew I wasn't looking forward to the wedding, so she tried to point out all the good points.

"Why do you always want me to see the good parts of the wedding?" I asked her when we were nearing the lake.  
"Because even though you deserve someone far better than Charles, You're never going to get married again. So you might as well try and enjoy the wedding"  
"I suppose you're right" I sighed.  
"Cheer up Esme, lets just try and enjoy our picnic"

We were at the lake now. I hadn't being here for months and I had forgotten how truly beautiful it was. The flowers, the trees and the ducks. It was completely peaceful.

Mary laid down a blanket under a nearby tree and set the food out as well. I sat down, and Mary joined me.  
We tucked into some sandwiches, then moved onto the salad and finally the strawberry cheesecake. By the end we were lying on our backs, gazing at the sky.

"The clouds are pretty today, don't you think?" Mary said.  
"I guess so. I always prefer the trees to the clouds. I love climbing trees" I replied. "I remember when I was younger I used to climb them all the time" I smiled as I remembered. "I was happy when I climbed, everything seemed to just disappear. I would be completely relaxed"

As I said the words, I suddenly felt an urge to climb the tree we were laying under. I stood up and kicked off my shoes.

"What are you doing?" Mary sat up looking confused.  
"I'm going to climb" I said simply. I started to grab some strong branches and pull myself up.  
"Esme! Come down, you might fall!" Mary was on her feet now, getting panicked.  
"I'll be fine, I'll be happy" I told her as I climbed higher. She just watched from below, getting more and more panicked as I got higher.

When I reached the top, I got a little scared. It only just dawned on me how high it was. I wanted to get down.

"Esme, please come down" I heard from the ground.  
"Okay" called down to her.

I started to go back down the way I had come, but it was a bit difficult. It looked completely different. How on earth did I manage to do this when I was younger?

"Esme, be careful!" I didn't realize how high up I'd come.

My rush was wearing off now and I wanted nothing more than to get down.

I was going so fast, I didn't look where I put my feet and before I could grab onto a branch, I slipped. Mary screamed.

I gave a blood-curdling scream as I fell towards the ground. As I landed I heard a sickening snap come from my leg, then I felt a sickening pain and screamed louder than I ever had before. The pain was torture, it was agony I wanted to die. My eyes closed in agony and I clutched my broken leg.

Somewhere in the distance I heard Mary crying and screaming. I tried to open my eyes to see her, but the pain was blinding me. I needed help and fast. I tried to tell Mary.

"Mary, please get help!" I screamed at her.  
"I'll be right back!" She cried frantically, I forced my eyes open just in time to see her running back to the village for help.

How could I be so stupid? What was I thinking? How could I possibly think that all my troubles would go away just by climbing a tree? Mary was probably worried sick, not to mention what my parents were going to do when they found out.

I cried and screamed as I waited for Mary to come back, my leg was in agony, I'd never felt pain like this before. Well, except for when the beast attacked me, But Carlisle saved me so it wasn't that bad. Why couldn't he save me now?I need my angel...

After what seemed like hours, I saw Mary running towards me. My parents were right behind here, and so was Thomas. I groaned, that meant Charles was here too. They all lost it when they saw me.

"Esme, what where you thinking?"  
"Are you okay?"  
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"Please, someone take me to the hospital!" I screamed in between sobs, and then I blacked out.

* * *

When I came round, I could still feel a pain coming from my leg, but it was a bit better. I could tell that I was in a bed, and I could hear my parents talking nearby, but I was too tired to listen to what they were saying. I struggled to pull back my eye-lids, but I managed it. When they saw my eyes open, my parents stopped talking and looked relieved.

"Oh Esme!" my mother cried, and she gave me a hug. It hurt, a lot.  
"Ow!" My mother pulled away quickly.  
"What's wrong?" my father asked.  
"Well, I fell out of a tree, So I'm in a lot of pain right now" I said to him.  
"Oh, I'm sorry darling. I was just so worried!" My mother had tears pouring down her cheeks. My father put and arm around her.  
"I'm okay, what's the doctor said?"  
"No-ones seen you yet, you've only being unconscious for twenty-five minutes. You haven't being here for very long." My father explained, my mother couldn't speak yet.  
"How did I get here?"I was still tired.  
"Thomas drove you in his car, him and Mary are in the waiting room with Charles" _Great, just what I need _I thought sarcastically.  
"When is the doctor coming?" I said, my words were getting a little slurred, I was very tired.  
"Someone should be here ..." I didn't here the rest, I was already asleep.

I was woken up by the sound of a doctor talking to my parents.  
"Could you please wait outside while I examine your daughter?" I recognized that soft as silk voice and I thought I was dreaming. I opened my eyes but I was facing the opposite direction to the doctor and my parents and I didn't want to move, it would hurt too much.  
"Of course, please call us back in when you're done" My father obviously didn't want to leave me, But I heard him and Mother close the door as they left.

I heard the doctor walk around so he could see my face, he stopped when he was in front of me. I looked up and almost fell off my bed when he spoke to me.

"Esme.." His voice hadn't changed a single bit.  
"Carlisle" I breathed as a huge smile spread across my face.

**Let me know what you think by reviewing! xD**


	7. Chapter 6 Answers

Chapter 6 - Answers

I couldn't believe it. My angel Carlisle was standing right in front of me. He had come back to me, he was really here, smiling down at me

"What are you doing here?" I stuttered.  
"Well, I move around a lot so people won't find out what I am" Obviously, people would start to notice that he doesn't age.  
"Why here though?" I asked.

Carlisle sat down on the chair next to my bed, looking directly into my eyes. His were full of worry, sadness and pity. They were still exactly the same shade of butterscotch.

"I owe you an explanation, Esme" He hesitated "I thought it would be best"my smile disappeared and rage ran through my veins. I couldn't control it.

"You thought it was best? I was happy with you, I needed you and you just left me! I woke up in the woods alone and hurt! Why did you it?" Tears were pouring down my face, partly from stress, partly from the pain that was coming from my leg.

Carlisle stood up and embraced me. He stroked my hair while I sobbed into his chest. As much as I hated him at the minute, I was glad to see him. I never wanted him to leave again.  
I was happy to stay here forever, but the pain in my leg caused me to groan.

"Shall I have a look at your leg?" Carlisle asked softly. I nodded.

He released me and pulled back the quilts. I kept quiet while he examined my leg with his cool fingers, I didn't wince once.  
"Well it's definitely broken, I'll have to put it in a cast"

He walked over to a large cupboard and came back with all the necessary items. He got to work immediately. My eyes never left his face, he was so beautiful. I still wanted answers though.

"Carlisle, Why the woods near my home?" I asked.  
"I left you in the woods so it wouldn't look very suspicious. After I left you I called your parents so they knew where to find you" His eyes didn't leave my leg.  
"Why did you bring me back?"

He stopped working for a second, and took a deep, shaky breath.

"You're a human, you deserve to live a human life. You shouldn't have to keep my secret. I wanted to let you go before you got too involved. You should marry Charles and make your parents proud"

As much as I hated him at the minute, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He was suffering too. If only he knew what Charles did to me, maybe he would change his mind. I got lost in thought.

About thirty minutes later, I was pulled out of my daydreaming by Carlisle's silk voice.

"All done, is there anything else I can do for you?" I could do with my bruises being checked, the bruises that Charles gave me.  
"I could do with a check up" I though about how I was going to stand "Could you please help me stand?"  
"Certainly, would you like me to help you dress down to your underwear or should I get a nurse?" I didn't want anyone else to see the bruises.  
"You, please"

He was a true gentleman about it. He helped me stand while I undressed myself and his eyes didn't linger anywhere they shouldn't while he examined me. He did, however, gasp occasionally at my bruises.

"Esme, who gave you these bruises?" his voice was strained.  
"No-one, I fall over a lot" I lied.  
"Esme, don't lie to me. I've seen these kinds of bruises before. Who's been hurting you?" His voice was serious but still strained.  
"I don't want to tell you" I mumbled, looking at the floor.

His put his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up, forcing me to look directly into his eyes.

"Esme, please tell me" His eyes were soldering. I looked away and started to cry again.

Carlisle quickly helped me back into my clothes, to make me more comfortable, before he hugged and kept telling me it was okay. But it wasn't okay, Charles was evil and I was being forced to marry him and I would have to put up with his abuse everyday.

"You're wearing the locket I gave you?" Carlisle said, to make conversation. I nodded.

"I'm s--sorry" I said between sobs.  
"It's okay" I couldn't lie to him, He didn't deserve it. He was being so kind.  
"Ch-Charles" I whispered. Carlisle held me away and looked at me, confused.  
"What?"  
"Charles, he's the one who's being hurting me" It felt so good to finally tell someone. Mary knew, but we had no secrets so it didn't make me feel much better.  
"Charles?" Carlisle sounded disgusted.  
"Yes. Charles" My voice was so quiet.  
"That's why you don't want to Marry him?" He guessed.  
"No. When he proposed to me I said 'no' so he punched me and kicked me until I changed my mind"  
"Esme I'm so sorry I should never have brought you back" He sat down on the chair and put me on his lap.  
"It's not your fault"  
"But I brought you back, even though you told me not to"  
"You're here now, that's all that matters"

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I didn't want to leave him, But I knew my parents were waiting.

"You're parents are probably worried" He said, echoing my thoughts.  
"Probably" I sighed.  
"Esme, I'm leaving tomorrow. I've been offered a place at a bigger hospital and I took it. I'm sorry, if I'd known that I would see you again..." He didn't finish.  
"I understand, just promise me something?"  
"Yes?"  
"Don't tell my parents about Charles" He was about to argue but changed his mind.  
"I promise, but can you promise me something in return?"  
"Anything"

While he got up and placed me on the bed carefully, he squeezed my locket and leaned into my ear.

"Never forget me" He whispered. He kissed my cheek and walked swiftly to the end of the room.

"I could never forget you Carlisle" I whispered back.

And with that, my angel walked out of the door. I clutched my locket and let a tear roll down my cheek as I realized I might never get to see him again.

**I'm sorry it's a short chapter but I couldn't think of what else I could add.**

**Please review. xD. **


	8. Chapter 7 Tears

**Okay, i had to put a lot of thought in chapter so I hope you like it and don't think it's too bad. xD. **

Chapter 7- Tears

Much to my disliking I had to stay at the hospital for three days, and the whole time I was there I was miserable. My parents guessed it was because of my leg, But truthfully, it was because I wanted my angel. They kept bringing me flowers to try and cheer me up. It didn't work.

Mary and Thomas came to visit me and, surprisingly, I was happy to see them. They brought me some chocolates and a 'get well soon' card. I also thanked them for their help.

The worst bit was when Charles came to visit. He'd only visited once but that was more than enough for me.

_*Flashback*_

_Everyone had left to give me and Charles some time together. As soon as the door shut, Charles was out of his chair and cowering over me while I lay helplessly in my bed.  
"Why can't you be more careful?" He thundered.  
"It was an accident" I said in a tiny voice.  
"Why were you climbing the tree anyway? Do you want people to think that I'm marrying someone who can't even act like a lady?"  
"No one saw me" My voice was getting quieter. He laughed.  
__"Of course they did! Everyone knows that you fell out of the tree! You made such a racket with your screaming!"  
"You don't even care what could've happened to me!" I managed to put a little bit of venom into my voice.  
"Of course I do! I bloody love you!" He raised his hands in the air like it was obvious.  
"If you love me, then why do you hurt me?" I shouted. BIG mistake. ____He grabbed my face with his hand and forced me look him in the eye. _  
"I don't hurt you! I try to knock some sense into you! Who's being giving you these ideas?"  
"No one" I mumbled, looking away. He didn't like that.  
"If you don't tell me..." He didn't need to finish the threat. He was already pulling back his other fist, preparing to hit me.  
"The doctor" I blurted out.  
"What?" He dropped his arm and let go of me in shock.  
"The doctor saw my bruises and asked who gave them to me. I just told him that I fall over a lot, he seemed to believe me" I lied.  
He grabbed the collar of my nightgown.  
"He had better have believed you..." He shoved me against the headboard and let go.

___ He walked over to the door and put his hand on the handle.  
_

___"...Because if you ever tell anyone, it will get worse and you'll be sorry" He snarled before walking out of the room, Leaving me sobbing on my bed._

*_End Flashback*_

I was going home today and, to be honest, I was dreading it. I would be alone. At least they have doctors and nurses here that care about me.  
I asked one of the nurses about Carlisle and she told me that he had taken a job in Wisconsin, I didn't have a chance of finding him.

Every time I thought of Carlisle, a tear escaped my eye and I clutched my locket. I thought he cared about me.

But I guess I was wrong. If he cared, he wouldn't have left me _again._

_

* * *

_

The journey home was tense. Father was driving and Mother was in the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back with Charles, and he was holding my hand only because my parents were there.

When we arrived at my house my parents went inside while Charles helped my out of the car.

"Remember, don't say a word" He whispered in my ear before he handed me my crutches and we went inside.

We all sat at the table and ate lunch to celebrate me coming home, even though I hadn't being away very long.

Charles looked like he would rather be with his own family and my parents looked like they were regretting buying all the food, but they still made happy conversation.

I wanted to get away from it all, it was to false.

"Mother may I go upstairs for a lie down?" I asked as soon as I was done, Even though I wasn't tired at all.  
"Why? Don't you want to go outside and enjoy the sun?"  
"Well, I thought that maybe I could sleep because I might heal quicker if I don't move" She got up to help me up the stairs.  
"That's my girl, trying to heal quickly for the wedding" I glared at him.  
"For your information Charles, I'm no one's girl" I growled as I left the kitchen.

As I made my way up the stairs I could hear my father saying to Charles "Probably her leg bothering her".

As soon as I was alone I lay on my bed and rested my head on my pillows. However, when I lay down, I felt a piece of paper on my pillow. It was an envelope addressed to me in the most beautiful handwriting.

When I opened it, there was a letter written in the same script:

_Dear Esme,_

_I can't be more sorry for leaving you. But, as much as it pains me to say  
__this, __it is for the best. You don't have to suffer, Esme. Your life would me much  
____happier if you told your parents the pain that Charles is putting you through._

_________The Nurses have probably told you where I am working, and I beg you,  
Esme, please don't come to find me. I'm only saying this because you  
deserve to live a long, happy life._

_________Try and take care of yourself, I want you to be happy.  
____I will keep my promise and, even though I don't deserve it, I hope you keep yours._

___To say sorry, I give you my heart which is enclosed in this letter. It now  
belongs to you.  
I love you Esme, always.  
Please forgive me,_

___Love Carlisle. _

In the envelope there was a small, silver heart with one word carved on it_. Always.  
_

I squeezed the little heart and sat silently while the tears poured down my cheeks.

When it started to get dark outside my window, I wiped my eyes and dragged myself over to my desk. When I got there, I rummaged through my drawers and found what I was looking for. Something I'd never felt the need to use before.

My diary.

I opened it to the first page and scribbled down the date. Then I wrote exactly what I felt.

_Love, Pain, Kindness, Hurt, Emptiness, warmth, Confusion, Lost. _

I put Carlisle's letter back in the envelope and then proceeded to paper-clip it to the page, along with a tear drop which fell from my eye while I was doing so.

When I was done, I pulled myself over to my bed and felt around until I found my wooden box. My grandfather had left me this in his will. My grandmother told me that he used it to store his most secret possessions.

I opened it and saw a small key inside, which I guessed locked the box. I placed my diary and Carlisle's heart inside and closed the lid, locking it before I placed it under my bed. I put the key in the drawer where my diary had being.

I heard a knock on my door and turned my head.  
"Come in" I said. My mother peered round the doorway.  
"Do you need help getting changed?" She asked. I nodded. She smiled and came to help me off the floor.

When I was changed into my night gown, she also helped me into bed and got me glass of water.

"Thank you, mother" I said, and I meant it. She kissed my forehead.  
"Sweet dreams, dear"

She closed the curtains and turned off the light on her way out. I lay there for a while

Just as I was about to drift off, I promised myself something,

As much as I am in love with Carlisle, I can never forgive him, but I will do my best.

**Please let me know what you think by reviewing xD. **


	9. Authors Note Sorry!

_IMPORTANT NOTE_

_**Sorry Guys, not a chapter, but I thought you should know that I'm changing my pen name from cullensxxx. to Fire-Burning-Ice**_

_** I'll do my best to update soon!**_


	10. Chapter 8 The Notes

Chapter 8 - The Notes

The next few weeks were good and bad. Bad because I was in pain, emotionally and physically.  
But they were good because I got a little surprise.

* * *

Only three days left until the wedding, three days until I lost all control of my life.

It has been five very long weeks. I haven't being able to walk or do anything for myself. But in a way that's good, because it means I get a lot of alone time, which I usually spend crying.

I've done a lot of crying since I received the letter from Carlisle. It makes me feel better, as if I'm letting the pain escape my body.

Everyday I open my wooden box to check on Carlisle's heart, and everyday it's exactly the same. Still in one piece and not a single crack.  
Whereas my heart is broken, cracked and chipped.

At the moment, I'm alone in the living room. My parents are in the kitchen and Charles is at his house measuring his suit for the wedding.

I can't wait to get to bed, and there's a very good reason for it.

Seven days after I had arrived home, a note was lying on my pillow when I went to bed.  
A week later, another came.  
And the next week, another.  
Then it happened again.

So if I'm correct, a note should be arriving today.  
I love receiving the notes because they're from my Angel, Carlisle. I recognize the handwriting.

It's dark outside, that means I can go to bed soon. When my mother had asked me why I suddenly wanted to go to bed early all the time, I told her that the extra rest would make me look and feel better on our wedding day. She didn't object.

I stood up and walked up the stairs, limping slightly. My leg was healed but it was still a little tender, so my parents had made me promise that I wasn't to do much walking.  
"Goodnight Mother, Goodnight Father" I called to my parents as I limped up the stairs.  
"Night dear" they both called back.

When I reached my room, I shut the door and turned on the light. Before I looked at my bed, I got my wooden box from under my bed and unlocked it.  
Carlisle's heart was still there, as was the locket that he gave me. It caused me too much pain to wear it so I kept it locked away with my diary, my notes and Carlisle's heart.

Once I checked everything was present, I took a deep breath and turned to look at my pillow.

There was a small envelope. I walked as fast as I could to it. I sat down on my bed and tore it open. All of his notes were always fairly short, but incredibly sweet.

Tonight it said;

_I'll never forget you._

I sighed and reached for my box.  
It was only a piece of paper but it would be the last one I would get from Carlisle. They arrived every week and this time next week, I would be on my honeymoon with Charles.

I kissed the heart and clutched the locket as I looked through all the other notes I had received. I loved looking at his handwriting, and the words he wrote.

The first note said; _Always.  
_The second note said; _Please don't look for me._  
The third one said; _It was for the best.  
_The fourth one said;_ Tell them._

The notes make me feel happy for a while but I know that I'll cry tonight. I cry because it hurts me to know that I'll never see him again.  
I like receiving the notes because they give me a bit of happiness, they make me feel like I might be able to escape one day, that Carlisle will come and rescue me.

I've been thinking about Carlisle all the time. I'm desperate to see him but at the same time I never want to see him again.

I'm doing my best to forgive him, but it's complicated. It getting easier because the notes make me want to see him but I'll never be able to forget the pain he's causing me, and that makes it harder.

My movements were robotic as I locked the notes away and stashed them under my bed. I changed into my nightgown and turned off the light. I stumbled through the dark and fell on my bed.

It took me a while to fall asleep and when I finally nodded off, I had nightmares about Charles. I preferred the nights when I dreamed of Carlisle.

* * *

I was woken up by my mother shaking me. I groaned and rolled over. Two days left.

"Esme, wake up. You're getting the finishing touches added to your dress today"

My eyes flew open and I fell onto the floor. How could I forget?

"When are we leaving?" I asked sleepily.  
"In about twenty minutes" She said, walking out of the room.

I stood up and walked over to my wardrobe, my leg was feeling completely better today, no pain at all.  
I selected a blue dress, white gloves, matching shoes and a hat to top it off.

I practically ran downstairs and joined my parents at the table. There was a bowl of porridge waiting for me. I ate it as fast as I could.  
Even though I wasn't looking forward to the wedding, I absolutely adored my dress and I wore it whenever I could.

Lately I'd been trying to follow Mary's advice and make the best of the wedding, after all, I'm never going to get married again.

"Esme, time to go" My mother said. Her and my father stood up.

I followed them out to the car and got in the backseat.

"Is father coming with us?" I asked.  
"No dear, he's going to wait in the car" My mother replied.

When we got to the dress makers, I was practically bouncing with excitement. I almost ran to the door.

The lady at the counter greeted us and showed us to the dressing room. My mother helped me into my dress while I thought about what I was going to add to it.  
I looked in the mirror and twirled. It was even prettier than I remembered.

"Oh Esme, it's beautiful" My mother breathed.  
"It still needs some finishing touches" I said.

I walked around the shop, looking for extras.

In the end, I settled for a large white flower that the assistant stitched onto the side if the dress, a flower pattern on the corset with one side of the dress ruffled.

My mother was practically in tears when it was done and, I had to admit, I looked beautiful. At-least there was this part of the wedding to enjoy.  
We payed for the dress and left the shop, my father was waiting for us outside in the car.

I placed the dress in the boot and then climbed into the back seat.

When we got home, I took my dress upstairs and hung it up in my wardrobe. I sighed as my fingers trailed down it.  
I closed the wardrobe door and sat on my bed. According to my clock, it was nearly tea time, I really did sleep in this morning.

I stayed upstairs until I smelt my mothers delicious cooking, beef stew. Yum.  
I made my way downstairs and ate my dinner with my parents. I wondered why Charles wasn't round tonight.

"Father, why isn't Charles here?" Normally, he ate with us every night, then went home to his family.  
"Well, he wants to spend extra time with his family because he's moving in with you after the honeymoon"  
"Oh, I understand" Great, that meant I wouldn't have to see Charles until the wedding.

I ate my dinner quickly, and then read in the living room for a while. When it got dark, I went to bed.  
Tonight, I had a pleasant dream. In my dream, It was my wedding day, only I was marrying Carlisle instead of Charles.

If only the dream was real...

* * *

The next day, I was at Mary's house while Thomas and Charles were at work. Only one day left.

We kept discussing the wedding, and how pretty it would be. We also joked about Charles. By the end of the day, I was laughing for the first time in weeks.  
I was actually enjoying myself.

When Thomas got home. he saw how happy we were and he insisted that I stay for tea. I only went home because it was getting dark.  
As soon as I was out of Mary's company, I felt empty.

_'I'm getting married tomorrow' _I thought with a shiver. Most people would be happy, but I couldn't be more scared. Scared of Charles and what he might do to me once we're alone.  
It shouldn't be like this, I should be happy. I should be getting married to someone I loved, someone who loved me, someone like Carlisle.

I fought against the tears, and put a fake smile in my face as I stepped inside my house.

"Is that you Esme?" Mt father called.  
"Yes, it's me. Sorry I'm home late. Mary and Thomas invited me for dinner" I said as I walked into the kitchen.

My mother and father were sitting at the table holding hands. My mother's eyes were pink, she had being crying.

"Are you okay mother?" I asked her.  
"I'm fine dear. I just can't believe that you're getting married tomorrow"  
"Oh mother" I said.

I rushed forward to giver her a hug. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"This is your last night as Esme Platt, Tomorrow you'll be Esme Evenson"

She was right. Tomorrow I would have a new home and a new name.  
When our eyes were dry, which took some time, I went upstairs to go to bed for the last time.

I closed my door and changed into my night gown. I wasn't tired enough to sleep so I grabbed a book and took it to my bed.

I froze when I saw a white envelope on my pillow. Why would I have a note tonight?  
I made my legs move forward and my trembling hands picked up the envelope. It was definitely Carlisle's hand writing.

I managed to get it open and my eyes traveled the paper.

_Dearest Esme,  
_

_I know I shouldn't have wrote you those notes but I needed  
______to tell you how I felt. I'm sorry if it has caused you pain.  
________  
I have thought of you everyday since I left you and I hope  
________________you've been thinking of me. You should know that every time  
________I think of you I regret leaving you and I want to cry._

_______________________________________I miss you so much and I will never love anyone else the  
way I love you. That's why it hurts me so much to write  
the next few sentences.  
_

_______________________________________I can't write you anymore notes and I can never speak to  
you again.  
I'm saying this because I love you and you need to move on.  
You deserve better than me and better than Charles.  
This is my last attempt at making you tell your parents  
about what Charles is doing to you.  
_

_______________________________________I know you haven't told them yet, if you had then  
the wedding would have being cancelled.  
I beg you Esme, please tell them. You don't deserve to  
be hurt like that. _

_I hope that you move on and learn to love someone who  
__loves you nearly as much as I do.  
I will never stop loving you Esme.  
Do your best to move on and remember that I regret  
____doing this but I don't regret meeting you.  
_

_______I'll always love you as long as I exist.  
________Please be happy.  
_

_______________Love Carlisle. _

Carlisle knew that my wedding was tomorrow but how? How did these notes get into my room? Was Carlisle watching me? If so, then why?  
So many questions and no one to answer them for me. I felt nothing. I couldn't feel hurt, pain, happiness, fear, love...

I slowly locked away the letter with the rest. I lay down on my bed, a million questions going through my head.

I was alone. Carlisle knew that. Why would he do this?  
After a while I started to get cold so I got under the quilts and started crying. I couldn't control the tears, they rolled down my cheeks and made me eyes sore. It felt like all my feelings were pouring out in my tears.

A couple of hours later and I was tired enough to sleep. I had lots of bad dreams and I fidgeted a lot.

* * *

I was woken up by someone knocking on my door. Feeling groggy, I sat up. My eyes were sore and my cheeks felt strange where the tears had dried on them.

"Come in" I called to whoever was a the door.

My mother and Mary came in cheerfully. Why were they so happy and what was Mary doing here?

"Come on sleepy head, time to get up" Mary said, dragging me out of bed. My mother was looking through my wardrobe for something.

Then it clicked into place. I felt like I was going to throw up as I realized what was happening. Mary was here to help me get ready and my mother was looking for my dress.

I'm getting married today.

* * *

**Not one of my best chapters but it was one of my longest :)  
****Let me know what you think by reviewing! xD **

**By the way, there's pictures of Esme's locket and wedding dress on my profile, check it out. xD. **


	11. Chapter 9 The Day

Chapter 9 - The Day

"Come on Esme, time to eat breakfast and get ready!" Mother said, still looking through my wardrobe.

What! I still hadn't processed that I'm getting married yet!  
I wasn't ready yet. I needed more time, but there was none. I tried to stall.

"Can I have a bath first?" It was the first excuse I could think of.  
"Okay, but hurry up!"

I ran to the bathroom. When I had closed the door, I leaned against it and sunk to the floor with my face in my hands.  
I couldn't do this.  
I wanted nothing more than to run away and hide, to bury myself into a hole and die.

I pulled myself off the floor and walked over to the bathtub. I turned on the taps and let the hot water fill the tub, I also added bubbles to calm me.  
I got into the tub and let the hot water relax my tensed body.

When the water went cold, I got out and toweled myself dry. I walked to my bedroom and decided that there was no point in getting dressed so I just slipped on my dressing gown.  
I practiced a few smiles in front of the mirror, and then went downstairs to the kitchen.

My mother was putting some bacon and eggs onto a plate ,while Mary put a knife and fork on the table. They were already in their wedding outfits. They looked at me when I entered the room.

"You took your time" Mary told me. I sat down in the chair where Mary had laid out the knife and fork.  
"I want to be clean for my wedding" I said, adding false joy to my voice.

She sat down opposite me. My mother placed a plate of food in front of me.  
There was three bits if bacon, two eggs and two pieces of toast.

"Mother, I can't eat all of this!"  
"Nonsense. You need your strength"

I sighed and picked up my cutlery.  
It was delicious, and to my surprise, I managed to eat it all.

As soon as I was done, Mary pulled me out of my chair and back to my room. My mother followed us.

* * *

My dress was hanging on the door, zipped in its bag. Mary forced into my chair that was at my dressing table, then she went to help my mother get everything from my parent's room.  
They came back with hairbrushes, clips, rollers, makeup, perfume and a small box wrapped in blue wrapping paper and a ribbon.

"What's in the box?" I asked.  
"You'll see" Mary said.

I sat still while Mary did my hair and Mother did my make up. I wasn't allowed to talk in-case I smudged the makeup, so I dozed off. While I was asleep, I dreamed.

In my dream, I was marrying Carlisle. We were cutting our wedding cake, smiling. Then we were standing outside a small cottage surrounded by flowers, I was holding a small child with blonde hair and brown eyes.  
The image morphed and we were waving at our son as he ran into the distance, we held hands and smiled at each-other.  
His smile was so perfect, full of compassion and devotion.

* * *

"Esme, wake up. It's time to put your dress on" Mary shook me awake and I sat up straight.  
"Sorry I fell asleep" I said, standing up.  
"Never mind that, hold your arms up"

My mother unzipped the bag and held up my dress. I sighed at it's beauty.  
I lifted my arms up so that mother could put it on. It fitted perfectly.  
I let my arms hang by my sides while Mary zipped the dress at he back.

"Put these on" Mother said, putting shoes in front of me. They were gold pumps with heels. Yuck, but I didn't want to upset her. I stepped into them, I was a bit wobbly.  
"Here's your bouquet" Mary passed me a bunch of white roses. I loved roses, me and Mary had selected them together.  
"What's in the box?" I asked.  
"Oh! I nearly forgot!"

Mary handed my mother the box with the blue paper and the ribbon. My mother then took my bouquet and replaced it with the box.  
I opened it.  
Inside was a silver tiara with Purple jewels on it.

"Oh mother! You shouldn't have!" I squealed.  
"It's not mine. It was my mothers, something old" she said, placing the tiara on my head.  
"And something blue" Mary said, adding a blue flower to my bouquet.  
"Something borrowed" Mother took her earrings out and put them on me instead.  
"And something new" Mary pulled out a tiny box from her pocket, she opened it, revealing a silver bracelet.  
"Thank-you Mary! It's beautiful!" I said, clipping it on my wrist.

My mother handed me my bouquet and I turned to the mirror and gasped.

My dress was perfect, I only had a little makeup but it was just right. And my hair was curled and in a bun with some loose strands. But the best part was that you couldn't see my bruises, Charles hadn't hurt me for a while so my old ones had faded. But I know that once we're alone, he'll hurt me. A lot.

"Could I have a moment alone?" I asked. They nodded and left the room, closing the door behind them.

I didn't cry, I din't want to smudge my makeup.

I put my bouquet down on the desk and walked over to my bed.  
I pulled out my wooden box and opened it.

Everything was still there.

I clutched the silver heart with the word _always_ carved on it.  
Why couldn't I marry Carlisle? What had I done to deserve Charles?

I read all the notes and my eyes started to water. _Get a grip! You can't let people see you like this. _I told myself.

I kissed the heart and placed everything back in the box, apart from the locket. I placed it around my neck.  
Before putting the box back under my bed, I scribbled a few words in my diary;  
_I'm getting married. But I don't want to.  
Carlisle, Please save me._

I put my diary in my box and hid my box under my bed.

I stood up, grabbed my bouquet and smoothed my dress. I took a deep breath and turned to the door.

"Isn't father meant to walk with me?" I asked Mary as I walked into the hallway.  
"He's just coming"

I heard my father's footsteps coming up the stairs. He took a step back when he saw me.

"Esme, you look beautiful" He stuttered. I smiled.  
"Thank-you" He linked our arms and we descended the staircase.

The wedding was being held in our garden, we couldn't afford to hire somewhere. So instead we had borrowed a marquee and asked the vicar to come to our house.

Everyone stood up when we came out the back door. There were lots of people who I didn't recognize.

One person stood out, a blonde male. He wore a huge coat with his collar up despite the warm weather. He also wore a hat and scarf. You could only see his eyes, and they were a strange colour. He stayed inside and watched from the back-door.

I recognized his eyes, but I couldn't think where from.

We walked up the aisle, to Charles. He was wearing a grey suit with a blue tie and red rose pinned onto his jacket.  
I kissed my father on the cheek before he walked to his seat.

Charles held my hand, pretending that he'd waited for this all his life.  
I kept my eyes on the blonde figure,

I was so scared. At least I could day dream until the vowels.

Unfortunately that part came very quickly. I wanted to cry.

"Do you, Charles Evenson, take Esme Platt to be your wife?"  
"I do" The tears came before I could stop them. Even though they were silent and the guests would mistake them for tears of joy, Charles would punish me later.  
"Will you love her, cherish her and protect her until death do you part?"  
"I will" He had so much false love in his voice.

The blonde figure looked up and his eyes were angry, like he wanted to punch something.

"And do you, Esme Platt, take Charles Evenson to be your husband?"  
"I do" I stuttered, my voice shaky from crying. The guests cried too, but for very different reasons.  
"And will you love him, cherish him and protect him until death do you part?" I so badly wanted to scream 'no, but no-one would understand why.  
"I will"  
"I now pronounce you Husband and Wife" The vicar declared.

I reluctantly let Charles kiss me, the blonde figure looked up at me. His eyes met mine and they were full of Pain, love and anger. He walked away quickly.

Where had I seen those eyes?

Me and Charles walked to the end of the aisle.  
Everyone helped themselves to food and drink while I walked around with Charles, pretending that I was happy. Lots of people came up and congratulated us.

When it came to the speeches I just sat in my seat and looked at the table.

When the speeches were over, Charles and me had to dance. I let him lead, like I had being taught.  
I couldn't stop thinking about the blonde male. Why did he seem so familiar?

The reception went on for hours. When everyone had left I helped clear up.

I had almost forgotten about the honeymoon. When my father reminded me that I had to change the blonde male was still on my mind.

I went upstairs to change into something less formal for our journey.  
I chose a simple blue dress and flat shoes.

I opened my box one last time and kissed everything that was inside.  
I opened my locket and looked at the picture inside. The fields by Carlisle's home. I took out of the locket to look more closely..

I was a little surprised when a little piece of paper fell out from behind it. I picked it up. The paper had being folded many times. I unfolded it and smoothed the creases.  
The piece of paper was picture of me and Carlisle from when I was healing at his house.

I collapsed to the floor. I'd had a picture of my angel for months and not known.

I let the tears fall, no-one was here to see them.  
I dropped the picture and it landed on the floor, photo side down. Some handwriting caught my eye. I wiped away my tears and picked up the picture.

On the back Carlisle had written;

_I will always love you,  
__I can't be more sorry._

I put everything in my box, then placed the box in my suitcase. I couldn't leave it behind.  
Mary had packed my suitcase for me last night. I zipped it up and looked in the mirror quickly. You couldn't tell that I had being crying.

I glanced at the photo one more time. I looked at Carlisle. He looked perfect, his lips, his cheeks, his eyes...My eyes widened. I recognized those eyes. They were the same eyes that the blonde male had.

I sat down slowly as I realized the truth.

Carlisle came to my wedding.

* * *

I recovered quickly, remembering that Charles was waiting for me. I wiped my eyes one last time and put the photo in my suitcase.

I took my suitcase downstairs to the front door where Charles and my parents were waiting. My movements were robotic.

After a few hugs and tears, me and Charles got into the car and drove off.

I didn't say anything. I was still in shock.  
I couldn't decide to be happy or sad that Carlisle came to my wedding.  
I was happy because at-least I saw him and he looked like he truly regretted leaving me.  
I was sad because He didn't talk to me, he promised my that I would never see him again, yet he came today.

Why was he doing this to me?

"You're quite" Charles snarled, making me snap out of it.  
"I'm just a bit tired" I lied.  
"You didn't do anything! You just stayed quiet all day"  
"I was quiet because... I can't believe we're actually married" I was getting better at lying.

He actually managed to smile at me.  
The rest of the journey consisted of happy conversation and a few smiles. I couldn't believe that Charles was actually being nice to me.

But I was still in shock. I couldn't believe that Carlisle had being at my house today.  
He had seen me and Charles get married.

I remembered Carlisle's angry expression and pained eyes and I was filled with hope.

If Carlisle felt that way, maybe he would come and rescue me.

* * *

**Thank-you so much JezCul666 for the idea of Carlisle being at the wedding! I was wondering how to make the wedding interesting and that was perfect. Thank-you!**

**I hope you liked the chapter. xD.**

**Please review! :) **


	12. Chapter 10 Heartache

_**Sorry it took a while, I've been going to the beach far too much! Lol xD. **_

Chapter 10 - Heartache

We had been driving for roughly three hours and I was starting to get hungry. I didn't ask Charles how long we had left to go because I was scared he might get angry again.

It was starting to get dark when Charles pulled up at the side of the road.

I looked out my window and saw a small cottage with a thatched roof, small windows, a heavy oak door with a brass handle, and flowers climbing up either side of the house.  
There was a large tree with a swing in front of the cottage, and I could hear a nearby river.

It was beautiful.

I stepped out of the car slowly, worried that the whole scene might disappear any second.  
Charles got our suitcases out of the back of the car while I ogled at the cottage.

I followed him when he started to walk towards the cottage, it surprised me when he pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

"This place is amazing" I breathed as we walked in, he left the suitcases in the hallway.  
"I suppose so" He grunted, I guess the long journey had made him cranky again " My uncle left it to me in his will" My stomach flipped. If he already had a house he wouldn't buy another one.  
"Does that mean we're going to live here?" I choked out, we were now walking to the kitchen.  
"Of course we are. Do you think I would spend good money on a house when we already have one?"  
"No, of course not. It's beautiful here. Thank-you"

How could I live here, so far away from my best friends?

Charles sat down in one of the nearby chairs.

"Do we have any food in?" I asked.  
"Yes. I asked some nearby friends to stock the cupboards so we could eat something when we arrived"  
"Would you like me to cook something?" I offered.  
"Don't ask silly questions, of course I want something to eat. That journey was so long"

I looked in the cupboards and found everything to make vegetable soup.  
It didn't take very long, and by the time it was finished I wanted to eat the pan and bowl as well as the food.

I placed a bowl in front of Charles and poured some soup into it.  
He snorted and looked disgusted.

"What's this?" he spat. I sat down opposite him with my own bowl.  
"Vegetable soup" I answered.  
"I've been driving for hours and all you give me is soup?"  
"It was the easiest thing to make" I said in a tiny voice.  
"Just get me a drink" He ordered me.

I got a bottle of beer from one of the cupboards and placed it next to his soup.

"That's more like it" He said.

I sat down again and started to eat my soup, It was lovely and warm.  
I hadn't even eaten half of it when Charles asked me to get him another bottle of beer. And another, and another, and another.

By the time we had finished dinner he'd had four bottles of beer. I didn't know he could drink so much.

"Esmeee, geeet meee anotherrr driiinnkkk" he slurred, wobbling slightly in his seat.  
"I think you've had enough" I told him sternly.

He stood up quickly, the chair flying backwards, banging on the floor.

"I decide when I've had enough to drink! How dare you try and order me about!" He thundered.  
"I was only trying to help" I mumbled.  
"Don't be smart, Esme! Get upstairs!"

Anger rushed through my veins, chasing away the fear.

"No! I want to stay down here!" I shouted back at him, I regretted it when I saw his face. He was going slightly red.

He walked around the table with a murderous expression and grabbed my arm tightly.  
I tried to shake him off, but he was too strong.

"Let me go" I said, I could fell tears coming.

He ignored me and dragged me upstairs. When we got to our room he threw me on the floor. He locked the door and closed the curtains. I was terrified.

He turned to look at me with evil in his eyes and a horrible grin on his face, I wanted to run away and never come back.

"I'll teach you to tell me what to do.." He said, moving towards me.  
"Don't hurt me" I squeaked, holding my hands up as a final effort.

It was no use, he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up, slamming me against the wall. He held me there with just one arm.

"You don't tell me what to do" He snarled.

The last thing I saw was his fist coming towards my face. Then I felt a dull pain, a warm liquid running down my face and finally...nothing...

* * *

When I woke up I was cold and confused. My head hurt and my body felt bruised.  
I slowly opened my eyes and sat up slowly, using a nearby wall for support. My head spun.

Charles was nowhere to be seen.

I looked at the window, the light was just coming through the curtains, that meant it must be morning.  
I tried to remember last night, but all I got was images of Charles's fist.

I held a hand to my head and felt a funny gooey substance near my eyebrow. Blood. It must have happened when I hit the wall.  
I looked around and saw that my clothes were scattered all around me, torn and tattered.  
My stomach did somersaults and my heart seemed to stop as I realized what Charles had done.

He raped me.

**_I know it's short, but I didn't really want to go into detail with this chapter._**

**_Please review! xD. _**


	13. Chapter 11 Alone

**_Sorry this chapter took so long but I really couldn't think of what to write!_**  
**_Dedicated to xX Kitty_**_**Rawr Xx, thank you for forcing me to write!**_

Chapter 11- Alone

I slowly crawled over to my wardrobe and pulled on some clothes. Every movement hurt my battered body.  
I couldn't here Charles downstairs so I assumed he had gone out to look for somewhere to start work.

Just as I was leaving the room I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stopped to look at my reflection properly.  
My lips were swollen, my face and neck were covered in bruises, there was dried blood on the side of my face from the cut near my eyebrow. There were also tears rolling down my cheeks.

I turned away and walked to the bathroom.  
I washed my face and cleaned my cut, covering it with a plaster. I'd never been very good at first aid, and I didn't do a very good job but I didn't want to go to the doctors.

When I was done I walked back to to my room. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall.

"Why me?" I croaked.

I completely broke down in tears. Charles had hurt me in the worst possible way, and I had no-one to talk to. What was I supposed to do?  
The only person I had ever really talked to was Carlisle, and I had no idea where he was.  
Why did he always disappear when I needed him most? Why can't he be here now?

A sudden thought came to me. The photo in my suitcase.  
I jumped off my bed and ran downstairs to get my suitcase. I pulled it back to my room and unzipped it.  
I found my box and tore out the photo.

In the photo, Carlisle had an arm round my shoulders and a huge smile on his beautiful face. I was smiling too, and I was leaning against his shoulder. Both of our faces looked alive, happy and healthy.  
It was impossible to think that I had ever being that happy.

I curled up into a ball and lay on the floor while the tears continued to fall.  
I cried until my face went stiff from the dried tears and my throat hurt.

I slowly pulled myself off the floor. Before I left the room a I locked away the picture again. I winced as I limped down the stairs. My body was so sore. Every step I took just caused me pain.

When I got to the kitchen I gasped.

There was broken glass all over the floor. Only one possible explanation. Charles.I suppose he must have go a little angry.

I sighed as I got to work cleaning up. It took me a while, and I couldn't help but wince occasionally.  
When I was done, I started cooking dinner.

After last night's fiasco, I decided to cook something that Charles would like a little more.  
I looked in the cupboards and pantry until I found all the ingredients for roast beef and potatoes.

* * *

My heart skipped a beat as I heard the front door open and Charles stamping through the hall.  
"Esme?"  
"I'm in here Charles" I stuttered.

He appeared in the doorway and I swallowed nervously, but didn't leave my chair.

"What's for dinner?" He gruffed.  
"Um, roast beef and potatoes" I mumbled, gesturing towards the oven.

His face lit up a little and he sniffed appreciatively.

"Smells good, how was your day?"  
"It was okay"

I had spent my day unpacking so that it actually felt like a home. All my stuff was now in a cupboard or box.

He sat down in a chair near mine. he grabbed my hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it gently.

My eyes widened. Did this man have a mutliple personality disorder?  
Last night he was such a monster, and now he was treating me exactly like a husband should.

We ate dinner in silence. I watched Charles carefully. Was he really a monster?

* * *

After the meal we sat in the living room and listened to the radio. Charles sat next to me on the sofa and out his arm around me.  
Halfway through a song Charles went to get himself a beer. Then another. And another. And then one more.

Oh no. This is what set him off yeterday. I was suddenly terrified, but I stayed quiet. Charles began to fall asleep on my shoulder. His breath stank of beer,  
Twenty minutes later, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm just going up to bed" I mumbled, getting up from the sofa trying to move him.

He woke up and grabbed my arm painfully, forcing me to sit back down. That answered my question. Yes, he was a monster.

"No, you're not"

I tried to loosen his grip, but he was too strong.

"Let me go to bed" I stuttered.  
"No"  
"Why?"  
"Becasue I said so"  
"That's not fair" I mumbled.

Charles jumped up with such force that I was knocked to the floor. I huddled in the corner, but that wasn't enough.  
He marched torwards me and picked me up by my arms.

I started crying and screaming as he carried me up the stairs.

When we reached our room he threw me on the floor. I scurried to the nearest corner, curled up and began hyperventilating.  
Charles looked at me in disgust and walked out, locking the door as he left.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was going to be okay, for tonight anyway.  
I got my breathing back to normal and crawled to my cupboard. I pulled out a notebook and pencil and started to draw what I felt.

A broken heart being stabbed over and over again, that was trying to fix itself but it just kept breaking, No matter how hard it tried.

When I was done I got up carefully and put the notebook safely away. I limped to the window.

Why could someone change so much just because of a drink? How could a man become a monster?

I stared out the window at the sunset. I loved the way it looked so calm and peaceful. It kind of made me feel like I was in a dream and that I would wake up and everything would be okay.

But everything wasn't okay. Everything was terrible. I wasn't living a dream, I was in a nightmare.

_**I hope it was worth the wait xD**_

_**Please review xx.  
**_


	14. Chapter 12 Change

_**Sorry it took so long guys, i've being moving house, doing exams, and helping my Bf through some stuff.../:  
**__**but here it is! Hope it's not too bad xx**_

* * *

Chapter 12 - Change

* * *

2 years it lasted, the nightmare went on for 2 long, painful, horrific years. Mary didn't write to me anymore, nor did my parents, they thought I was doing fine, and that I was happy being A wife.  
All I could do was get used to the pain and find ways to numb it occasionally.  
During the years, A routine began to develop, with very little changes.

I pretended to be asleep in the morning when Charles got up, he left to work, then I got out of bed and began doing all of the housework and preparing a meal for when he came home. Once a week I would walk to a village which was 2 miles away to buy supplies like food and toiletries.  
Sometimes I would look in my box, and have a few minutes of self despair, and think 'Why me?' I liked remembering Carlisle, somewhere in my mind it gave me hope.

Charles arrived home and kicked off his shoes, whilst he sat down I would put away his coat and shoes, then quickly give him a beer before he could ask me to, this usually kept him calm.  
I'd sit with him, eat a little myself and talk to him about his day. He'd finish dinner, and drink the rest of his beer while I washed up.  
This is where the little changes occurred.

If he had come straight home, then he would normally take another beer into the living room, He wouldn't drink another, and we would do something together, such as talk about plans to do with the house, or we would play chess, maybe read together, and sometimes just talk until we were ready for bed.  
But these things didn't always work out.  
For instance, one night, I asked him if we could save some money and buy some flowers and seeds for the garden. Of course, he said no, insisting that we save our money and that I shouldn't be wasting my time on flowers when I had more important things to do, like being his wife.  
When I argued, he took me to bed, and kept me there. But this didn't always happen, one night he offered if I'd like to do go out to places more often, it was nice offer, but unfortunately, not one he has kept to. Sometimes we would just go straight to bed.  
If he had being to the pub, he would demand another beer, then another, and sometimes one or two more. I always tried to discourage him, but he always insisted that he knew best and that I should be a good wife and stay quiet.  
If I started to sniff, or if I had tears in my eyes, he dragged me upstairs, not making an effort to keep me upright.

* * *

I'd wake up trying not to remember anything. But sometimes I could feel it.

If Charles hadn't being drinking too much, then it wouldn't be as painful, but it would last longer because he was more sober. But he didn't usually hit me if he'd only had 2 or 3 beers, so in some ways it was better, but in some it was worse.  
If he'd being drinking a lot, sometimes 5 or more beers, it would be horrendous. I would instinctively try more to struggle, so he would pin me down where ever he pleased (usually the bed or floor but sometimes against a wall) and he would hit me, kick me, bite me, scratch me, pull my hair bang my head against cupboards, the bed, the wall or the door. He would rip my clothes, and then hurt me in the worst possible way.  
Then he would go to sleep, leaving me crying on the floor.  
Then the next day would start.

* * *

Today was different.

I woke up late for a start. Charles had already gone to work, and the sun was beaming through the open curtains. I'd had a very strange dream, I think it involved parrots and monkeys?  
I was in the bed, which meant Last night wasn't too bad, just three bruises, that wasn't many. And I wasn't too sore. Bit I felt extremely tired, despite the fact that I'd obviously had a lot of sleep.

I sat up slowly, and realized that I felt extremely sick. That wasn't normal, I didn't usually feel nauseous.  
My stomach suddenly did a flip, and I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, and threw up violently in the toilet.  
My throat burned, and there was sweat on my forehead, but apart from that I was fine. I had a glass of water to cool my throat down.  
Now that the sick feeling had gone, I felt a bit hungry, so I ate a slice of bread and butter, and an apple.  
I started my normal routine of cleaning the house, i enjoyed doing this, it was my little bit of time to myself. Charles started his holiday tomorrow, I'd have to put up with him 24/7 for 2 weeks, I was trying not to dawdle on this.  
30 minutes into my routine, I had to run to the bathroom to be sick again. I was getting a little worried, but I had no fever, and I seemed to be able to keep down water, so I didn't fuss.

By lunchtime, I was starving, I ate 2 sandwiches, a bowl of apple pie, 2 custard tarts and whole carton of orange juice. I managed to keep it all down, but I felt like I needed to have a little nap. Huh. Weird.  
I fell asleep on the sofa, and woke up with just one hour until Charles came home!

* * *

I jumped up and frantically started reheating some stew and dumplings from last night, whilst making a fresh loaf of bead to eat with it.  
Just while I was serving it up, Charles came in the front door.

"Esme?" He called.  
"I'm in the kitchen, I'm just serving dinner, leftovers from last night"

He walked round the door, he still had his shoes on.

"I'm going away for a 2 weeks with some people from work, are you capable of looking after the house on your own if I leave you some money?"

He was going away! I had a whole 2 weeks to myself! I didn't even care where he was going, and I knew he would prefer it if I didn't ask. So I didn't.

"Um, of course, I'll be fine, you go and have a good time"  
"Good, I just need to get some clothes"

He headed up the stairs wile I sat down and ate my dinner, I had a smile on my face the whole time.

Just as I was washing up, he came back downstairs with a suitcase.

"I'll be back in 2 weeks, here's some money, don't waste it"  
"I won't, hope you enjoy yourself"

He walked out of the door, and I ran upstairs squealing. I had the house to my self for 2 weeks! I couldn't believe it! I jumped around the bedroom, I jumped on the bed and laughed into my pillow.  
Strange, this was the happiest I'd being for 2 years, and it was because my husband was going away. Most wives would be this happy when their husband was returning.

I lay there thinking about how different my life would be if Carlisle hadn't taken me home. I would have married him, I would be cleaning his house everyday, we would read books together every night and play chess by the fire...  
Eventually, when I could hear the owls outside, and the stars were out, I fell asleep.

* * *

The next day I woke up and smiled, remembering that I was alone. My dreams had being wonderful, dancing fairies visited me and I danced with them, smiling and laughing, feeling the best I had for two years.  
But I couldn't lay there long, my stomach had other ideas. For the second morning in a row, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. This was weird.  
I told myself that if it happens again then I'll go to the doctors. But I wasn't sick again all morning.

I decided not to clean today, or go to the nearby village.  
I had a nice, long bubble bath, relaxing each of my muscles one by one. I gently let my bruises soak in the warm water.  
I got out toweled myself dry. I decided to put on my dark read v-neck silk dress with 3/4 length sleeves and a corset. I stepped into my little sliver high heels. I brushed my hair into curls and put on some white powder to make my eyes stand out more, and added some red lipstick which matched my dress. I pulled the front of my hair back, and held it there with a band, and then slid in a flower jewel to finish the look.

I wasn't going out, I was going to look in my box properly for the first time in months.-I fetched it, I sat on my bed and gently took out everything individually. I didn't feel sad. In-fact, I felt brilliant. I help up my diary, i hadn't had time to write in it for ages. I opened it up, grabbed a pen and started writing;

_I miss him. I'm desperate to see him again. I wish he'd saved me. I'm so alone and hurt, only he can make it better. I so badly want things to be different. But rather than ponder over what could could have been, I instead focused on what we did have, what we still have._  
_We were not only friends, but best friends. He looked after me when no-one else would, he understood me and I understood him. We were two very different people but also completely the same. And he'll come and save me again, I just don't need him enough yet, but when the time is right, he'll rescue me. He did it before, and he'll do it again. I believe in him. My angel Carlisle will come. _

I closed my diary. Now that I had the time to think about Carlisle, I've decided that I don't want to think about him. I only want to remember him. All the good things we had.

I clutched the little _always _engraved heart. It was mine forever, something that no-one else has, only me. Always.  
I cried a little, but that was good, everyone cries.

* * *

When the sun was setting, I wiped my eyes and locked away my box once more. I realized that I was extremely hungry. I went down to the kitchen and tried to find some food. I made myself some pie.  
I ate the whole thing myself, and a few vegetables as well, washed down with a bottle of milk. This was weird. I didn't normally eat this much. And what was with the sudden mood change earlier?  
I washed up everything and decided on an early night.

Before I could leave the kitchen, everything started spinning, my head hurt and then I was on the floor. then nothing.  
I woke up and quickly checked my head for any signs of injury or concussion. I was fine. I drank a glass of water, went to the bathroom, and then got straight into bed.

* * *

I arrived home, my head still not understanding what the doctor told me.  
It didn't seem possible, but at the same time made perfect sense.  
I opened the front door and went up to my room and rummaged around for my diary. I started writing.

_I was sick again this morning. I thought I'd better go to the doctors after I passed out last night.I got dressed and walked to the village. He wanted to do all these tests on me. I didn't know why.  
I sat in the room by myself, waiting for him to return. Then he came in. Thats when he told me.  
I walked out in a daze. I couldn't believe it. It didn't feel real. __He said 5 words, and they change everything._

_"Congratulations Mrs. Evenson, you're pregnant"  
__I can't tell Charles. There's no way I'd let him near a baby, it wouldn't live to see its first birthday. _

_There's only one person I can tell, but I have no idea where he is. But its not just about me anymore. It's about my little baby,  
and things change when a baby's involved.  
_

_I can't wait any longer, this changes things, I'm packing a suitcase, and I'm going first thing in the morning. _

_He'll understand, he'll help me, he'll look after me. All I have to do is find him.  
So, thats what I'm going to do, I'm going to find Carlisle Cullen. My angel Carlisle. I'll be with him again, and everything will be okay._

I put my pen down, and clutched my stomach.  
"Don't worry" I told my baby " I won't let him hurt you, I'm taking us to Carlisle, he'll look after us, he'll keep us safe"

* * *

_**Please review! xx **_


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